05 November 2008

our generation

this generation, Generation Internet or whatever we are called has seen much.

From cross color to Cable, the dawn of the internet age, smart phones, home computers, Apples comeback, the pistons as NBA Champions, gay tolerance slowly becoming gay acceptance, Hispanics becoming the largest minority, the Tigers making a comeback (still waiting on the Lions), the worst attack on US soil on 9/11, the pending depression and worst economic scare of the century, to this:

America's First Black President, Barack Obama.

I'm not one to pull the race card, but to brush over such a significant milestone in our nations history would be absurd and grossly ignorant.

President-elect Barack Obama is a symbol of progress. of hope. a reminder that the American dream lives.

i never claimed to be political. and after 2000 and 2004, i cant say i didn't have a world of doubt and anxiety over the final result of Decision '08.

However, after seeing how the election went down, I am proud to be an American.

Sure, when I went to bed Obama narrowly won with a 5 point margin, but look at the electoral college: 338 votes to Mccain's 153 - not including the final decision from Indiana.

This is a President with power and influence to support his symbolism to numerous ideals and people.

is he going to be America's savior? maybe. maybe not. He is, however, what America needs.

here's to a Hope-Filled 4 years. Hell, hopefully 8!

LiB

28 October 2008

"86" Warner

it's a wrap, folks.

after 2 years and one month, almost to the day, i have been officially FIRED from theHalfKing.

it's been a long and interesting run, i must say. i started off as a busser making $80 after an eleven hour day. I quickly moved up to server in a couple months - but had to go get a second job at BLT Burger to get more experience. theHalfKing was my first server job. from server i hosted a bit and eventually became a bar back to, Eamonn - a relentless yet skilled/seasoned bartender from whom i learned much. I quickly made it up to more desirable shifts with people like Eamonn and second bartender Ami heading off.

before i knew it, two years had passed and I wasnt creating any art. Art was the man reason i left Michigan for NY. subconsciously, i was getting down on myself for months and began self medicating. internalizing my grief and numbing myself with alcohol became my modus operandi and enabled me to keep going.

hitting the second major low point regarding my drinking and it spiraling back into countless blackout nights, i realized i needed to take a break. after the above mildly intense withdrawal subsided and i began to feel clear again -my eyes opened and i had to face what i had been running from: "I didn't move to New York to be a bartender or a server."

If you're picking up on a little self-righteous judgment it's because it's there.

i am very judgmental.

I am also my hardest critic.

I had to face that I didnt have much to show for my two years of hard work.

yeah, i found a great place to live and tons of new toys but my accounts where low if not empty.

i hadnt touched my drafting table in months, but I could tell you what bar to go to for a good time any night of the week.

with this epiphany, i decided to clean up my act. literally and figuratively.

cut out drinking, cleaned up my apartment and cleared off my drafting table.

got out my sketch book and went to work.

I must admit I had a pushing hand from Harvey, who is on the board of several museums here in NY (including the MoMA and the met) and PA. He loves my work and kept on my case about producing work.

Tim, a professor at SVA (my dream school) who kept reminded me there is a place for me in the art world.

for the first time in a long while years i feel creative again.

i'll prolly venture back into the service industry to pay bills, but this time, i wont be making a career out of it.

it's time i start doing what i really want, dammit. which is art.

LiB

24 September 2008

Last Call

this past sunday night i got into an argument with an off duty manager. long story short we both said things we shouldn't have.

now im suspended for a week and its my final notice at work. any incident from here on out is immediate termination. plus this suspension is going to cost me over 1G, managers are no longer allowed to drink and im sure more is to come. Plus Jessie and I planned on purchasing our season passes for snowboarding this winter next month.

oh, and the cost of what was up until then a good friend.

oh well.

happy two year anniversary of working at theHalf King.

up next:

yet another call from mom.

LiB

09 September 2008

"but bar keep, he worked for Chanel!!"

fashion week has pretty much come and gone. I didn't walk in any shows but I definitely partied a bit. I'll admit, i'm a little anxious to get my go but I am confident my time will come.

regardless, it foes without fell business's, especially bars, pick up during fashion week. even more so if you are in a hot spot around the city such as meatpacking, les (lower east side), and other go to's.

short side of the story is I was working sunday night behind the bar and as you would guess around 2:30am when I am fixin' to get shutting down for home and chatting up my remaining customer, mostly regulars, here comes a troop of fashion heads.

the group of eight or so consisted of 3 older white haired men, 2/3 women, 3/4 drunk and coked up, and 1/2 questionable in age.

The one older lady comes up to me almost in tears (bad start) begging for a round of shots. Peering over the beer taps i spot two wobbly 14y/oish looking girls looking like they're playing Dance, Dance Nation in slow motion.

I ask for IDs. The crowd goes silent. (another bad sign)

"Listen, we just left the shows and just need some drinks," the mouthpiece of the group says. Keep in mind my bar is off the beaten path let alone 3 avenues west and nineteen blocks south of the fashion week epicenter.

"That's fine m'am, I just need to see everyones ID," I retort. I obviously didn't want to see the older peoples to check their age, just their motor skills.

I get about half their IDs, of course none of the questionable ones, before The Mouthpiece (MP) begins ordering.

"ok, we need shots of tequila (no number, bad sign), chilled, Patron. Stellas, and---", she stumbles out before I cut her off.

"I still haven't seen everyone's ID."

"whose else do you need to see?"

"Her, Her, Her, Him, Her, Him, and Hers," I saw, pointing to the group members who look younger than me.

"this is ridiculous," some douche says as he thrusts his ID at me.

"There's nothing ridiculous about The Law, Sir. You're in a Bar."

The Mouthpiece is tearing up (why so desperate and pleading, I think to myself. Cut off at another bar, and no one else will serve you?), "We just want some drinks, can we just -- I need you to get me drinks, we're tired of walking."

"I need to see ID"

"Their from all over the world, we just left the shows."

"Then passports."

"they don't--- please, why are you being so mean."

"There are plenty of bars in the city, I will not serve anyone without ID."

"well can I just order everyone's drinks? I have ID."

"Yes, you can order your drink. One per person with ID."

"you're being, impossible."

"im doing my job. and you're friend is lighting a cigarette. No Smoking inside in NY."

"ugh, please, I dont want to be embarrassed. I'll pay whatever, please!"

"There's another bar straight down the street, try there. I'm no serving you."

"Do you see that man over there, he's worked for CHANEL! FOR PRADA!!! FO----"

"M'am, I honestly dont care who he's worked for or what you will give me, you all need to leave. It's not worth risking the Liquor License whatever it is."

after I received a few FUCK YOUs there was silence again.

its instances like these that make me ashamed to be associated with such a vapid industry. no one cared about anything but liquor and themselves. Did they forget the laws because there were so drunk? foreign? ignorance is no excuse or exemption.

get over yourselves.

05 February 2008

SELF-DESTRUCT:¿Deactivated?

I can't remember if I blogged about it or not and I don't feel like searching.

The least 3 half years have been rough. I moved several times, lost and gained friends, and lost some more. I've spent ungodly amounts on food and shelter. The list goes on...

Overall, I have been victorious in my crusade of independence and self-awareness but it has not come without battle scars.

I was smoking and drinking heavily for a great portion of time. I was reaching 2 packs of nat sherman's a day up until a few months ago when I noticed my teeth looked a little tented and stopped buying smokes. This only resulted in me upping the alcohol consumption to compensate.

I thought, instead of joining my compatriots for a drag on those nights out on the town, i would just order another round and sip by my lonesome. Bad Idea.

You see, college and even high school were not the best breading grounds for building a healthy relationship with drugs. Go ahead and say it: what the hell was I doing partying hard in high school? Well, I did - let's move on.

I spent the better part of 2007 drinking everyday. I'm not talking a shot of whiskey in my coffee to jump start my day - I don't drink coffee - i'm talking pints of vodka---multiple pints of vodka. There were spurts when I was polishing off fifths in a night. Or hundred+ dollar tabs at bars that I barely remember - and believe me, it wasnt because i was buying the bar rounds!

Speaking of nights i can't remember, it was mostly because I was black out. There have been more than one occasion when I have awoken in my bed fully dressed, dry-mouthed, and missing credit cards, cell phones, and recollection of how I got home - If i even woke up at home. It was getting out of hand. I finally hit my low point in November.

I took two weeks off of drinking completely and reassessed my priorities. After a few days i was thinking clearer and feeling better. I thought: problem solved.

Then came the staff parties, and holiday parties, and new year parties. Same dance, different song.

Pretty much, there isn't a "one drink and that's it" clause with me. I don't know what that makes me. What I do know....today, Sinead, my general manager and Greg, the half king chief, sat me down and told me how concerned they were. Especially when it comes to how I interact with my fellow employees. It wasn't about my performance as a Bartender, besides the occasion snappiness with a customer, my performance was "stellar" they said. It was the drinking, and coming to work hung over, and conflicts with fellow staffers. It was the fact that I didn't remember what I did the night prior and that I was blacking out a couple times a week. They were coming to me as concerned people, not as my Boss and Boss. They said take a couple weeks to figure things out and they would help me in any way they could. All I had to do was tell them how. I believe them. I've said it before, The Half King is more than just any job, it really is a family there. I've worked places where they would have just fired me, but they didn't. I mean a two week suspension sucks, but at least I got a weeks pay, and they are willing to help anyway that they can as long as I am addressing the issue.

AA? possibly. Therapy? Possibly. Do I think I'm an alcoholic? no, but borderline. Or even functional. Why am I writing this? Because I hope to look back on this in a couple weeks and see that I saw I needed to make a change in my life in a constructive way and I did.

Love in Brooklyn

01 February 2008

mountain tops take iv







I worked wednesday night until 4am yesterday (thursday) i cabbed Jaime-Lynn home before heading back to brooklyn. I hadn't packed my 'board equipment so i knew i was in for a rough morning. I finished and took a 40 minute nap before getting the call from Jessie around 6:40a. We were supposed to be meeting at my place at 6:30a. Jessie's call was then proceeded by Du saying he was already downstairs waiting.

we're such slackers.

I crawled out of bed and got dressed and started to make my way downstairs. I got a call from Edwin saying he hadto drop his son off at school and then we had to make a quick pit stop before we headed off.

7:15a: we leave my place and head to williamsburg to meet up with Jesse and Morten.

Jessie, Edwin, and I pretty much stuck to the Vernon portion of Mountain Creek the last time we visited. Edwin wanted to introduce us to South this time.

Jessie has been skiing since she was ~3 years old, but this is her 4th or 5th time snowboarding. I had never been on a mountain, let alone a snowboard or any other kind of board before 4 trips ago (one day trip a week).

Edwin is very pleased with our education and advaning skill level, so he said he was sure we could handle it.

we chilled on our usual slope on Vernon until South opened and then headed over. There's a on-mountain trail that links Vernon to Granite and then to South but it was closed, forcing us to drive.

I was a little to confident on my first run and the mountain quickly reminded me to respect it when i toed out and "supermaned" and bruised my left hip pretty nicely.

I will be purchasing a helmet very soon.

The day was a blast forgiving when Edwin talked me into going down a more advanced terrain park with the caveat: "just stay on the left or right of the jumps and you will be fine." What he neglected to tell me, he himself nicknaming me "speed demon," was that the entire path at times were jumps, regards of hitting the kickers or not. So imagine my surprise when i'm flying down the mountain at what i am guessing is the next door neighbor to 20 mph, carving and shredding and hit my first hill.....i look down a good ~50˚ drop of i'm sure no less than 30 ft.

I went airborne for a good 3 secs, almost nailed the landing but panicked a bit while trying to carve it out and when down on my ass, sliding down the mountain for a good 15-20ft. Discombobulated and hearing other boarders flying over me screaming bloody murder, i was ready to strangle Edwin. I thought "hopefully that's the only one" and continued. I really had no other option since was just inside the run. Another jump, almost identical conditions, i just heeled down that one and found the next merge off the terrain park. A little shell shocked a sat down and calmed myself for a few minutes, talking to Du who had saved me with the merge point.

I refused to end on that note and went down the other side twice more before calling it a day. Jessie had left hours prior because she had to get Morten to the airport for his international flight.

all in all, i had a blast.

LiB

28 January 2008

this guy


i may not know who i am voting for in november, but i for damn sure know for whom i wont.

don't associate yourself with me digitally or otherwise if you support Mitt Romney.

chuuuuuuump!!!*



*post inspired by Caitlin and Maggie.

LiB

26 January 2008

NEW Artist Alert


my buddy Maggie just turned me on to LA ArtistBrandon Bird

love the style, attitude, and subject matter. he's random as hell and i dig it. Plus.....HE FUCKIN MET STAN LEE!!

Thanks Mags!!!

LiB

24 January 2008

mountain tops



packing up the gear cuz i'm hitting up windham in a few hours with Patrick and his buddy from work.

tomorrows the first day of sunshine after a few days of snowing.

enjoy your friday

LiB

¿dood, where's my car-d?

while closing out my till yesterday i noticed my debit card was not in it's usual place. now i have to back track two nights ago when Joanna and I hung out and went to momofuku for dinner before heading to UCB theatre for an improv show.

the annoying part is i memorized my number so i would hate to have to do it again with another card.

i plan to finish my commission today then snowboarding tomorrow with Edwin and Du!!!

LiB

update:
apparently i ventured off to another bar after leaving UCB with Joanna. I'm being told I ran into one of Tony's friends - He was out on a date with his asian girlfriend who is puerto rican and lives in brooklyn...
I don't remember this at all nor do i remember opening a tab at the bar nor the thirty minute diatribe about why the paparazzi should leave britney spears alone. these $200 blackout nights have got to stop.

....on my way to the lower east side (LES) to reclaim my card, and close the tab.

my first media blog



hot.

next in line, please....

it's been awhile, peeps. too much to try and recap in this post. so be on the look out for posts more frequently feeling in what i have been doing since august.

highlights:
i have fallen in love....with snowboarding.
tony has introduced Fjodor to our lives. he's our pet kitte - a russian blue.
tony is almost done with the partition he is building on our main floor.
i've been drawing more than ever - more on that later.

and finally,

i have representation here in new york for modeling. the agency is Bella and they focus on commercial print.

i can't explain how much i have been waiting for this opportunity. i was jaded by the industry and took a break to get my head together; now, however, i'm ready to give it another go.

i want to thank all the people who have helped me get to this step: including those who didnt believe in me when i believed in myself and most importantly those who believed in me when i didn't believe in myself.

Love in Brooklyn.