training day (under development)

dreams.fleetwood_mac.rumours

i'll fill this out later.

last night was my 'training" night at my new job The Gramercy Park Hotel.

i am barbacking on track to me a bartender. pay? 4.30 an hour. the thing is, with bottle service and $500 shots of Louis XIII and regulars like Diddy, Russel Simmons, Damon Dash, Sienna Miller, Jimmy Fallon, Guy Pierce and the ilk, I can make more in tips outs in one night than an entire week at the half king.

i'm not leaving the half king, i love it there, but as Eddie (the head of security said when i told him my earnings at the half king and how i started as a busser making sometimes $70 on a good 12hr shift (bussers at GPH aver $300-$400 a night), "do what's best for you!"

"DO what's best for you"

if i only had time to make a list of all the people who have said that EXACT statement to me in the last 12 months.


Jimmy Fallon personally pulled me aside when i left from behind the bar and shuck my hand so say i was working my ass off - i had just scrambled him chilled soco shots because we ran out of jager in betweenn sprints to the dishwasher in the kitchen through the crowd since the washer behind the bar is on the fritz.

how did i get the gig? the modeling agent who has made me her "pet project" (the same agency that got me a free gym membership because i had no money) asked me how my money situation is and i told her i was barely making ends meet - we'll see what comes of this.

nothing to do but work on my art

those are the deals i remember

those are the days i live for.


sometimes i just want to sit and doodle and sketch and color and read and write and nothing else.

i got the final piece needed for the construction of my drafting table today. man it has been so involved building this loft. i still need to order the leds which will set me back a good buck-thirty (=$130 mom) and then the plexiglass and mylar to complete that phase of the light box. i also need a drafting chair, the cheapest i have found was on DickBlick.com which would suit my needs.

i'm taking donations, comment and i'll get in touch with you.

fer serius!

AIM IM with Elle.

keep the light on for me.

one helluva week.

tony's loft is finished, mine almost.

i posted new drawings with more to come.

i had good news ontop of good news in the last couple days and crossing an old bridge has taken me to a level i have been striving for. more on that in about a week.

i'll be spending much of the time til then in the gym - where i haven't been in 7 months.

california dreaming...once more. with feeling.

no_quick_fix.nada_surf.let_go

my college roommate and buddy Rob (wes) can tell you my dreams of moving to california to pursue comic illustration.

the fox television series the oc was my way of living there vicariously.

now more and more i want to get back into art, my one true passion. I have been saying i was goig to apply to art schools here in new york......im making an addendum: california.

i'm in love

you can just hear blackberry and motorola: "fuck, fuck, fuck....."
and cingular continuously cumming in their pants.

i'm calling it now

iphone video ichat by the second gen, third tops.

delusion|determination

over.jimmy_eat_world.stay_on_my_side_tonight

they come and go, but i would be a liar if i pretended i never had my doubts about modeling. when i was younger, and chubby, i used to dread shirts versus skins games in sports. i was the kid who wore a tshirt in the pool. so when i lost weight and had a body i never thought possible - i kinda flaunted it. not in a "i'm better than you" kinda way, but yet, a "i did this and I thought I never could."

after loosing weight i entered a casting call for seventeen magazine just because a few people i knew were doing it, too. So, Jenna Felzcak, William Watkins, someone who I am forgetting, and myself all went to the casting. Will and I were selected, making us 2 of the 30 or so guys selected out of the 500 that dropped by. seventeen also took 30 girls.

during make-up for the shoot i talked with the stylist and she suggested i drop my photos off at some agencies. it being michigan i didnt think there was much of a market let alone did i have the slightest on where to begin.

long story short i sent some photos to a small agency in ferndale. there, i had some photos done and began building a portfolio. to date, most of my experience and work has come from my own motivation and searching with my agency providing very little work and guidance. they did however connect we with agencies in new york that had expressed interests.

i dont know if it was because the trip was shortly after finals, or the pressure of going to new york for the first time ever, or even spending that much time with my agent, but i had the most horrific acne breakout. of the agents i met, a few saw past the hideous condition and said they wanted to hear back from me.

being tired of michigan and not happy with my choice in school, i packed my bags and left for new york - knowing i had a lot of work cut out for me.

now, some 6 months later, after finding out more and more about the industry and learning that i had to start over from scratch professionally - no one in new york had respect for non-ny photogs unless they were mega-successful - in which case they would still be working in new york from time to time.

i have undoubtedbly made advances and met some influencial people both in modeling and other entertainment industries, the question still rings in my head: "how much is too much, and how much is not enough?"

people have said it wont happen over night, and i believe them. it takes being here and meeting people and so on and on. so is it a test? very few models are the ones you read about where they were walking their dog and all of a sudden they are on the cover of mags. most started out doing what i am doing - working odd jobs and chasing a dream.

and for clarity modeling has never been MY DREAM, but a side project. My dream is and always will be drawing and art and comic books. modeling is a goal that came along and i am not one to half-ass a challenge. but being in the city has helped me remember my love for the arts.

i don't want to go back to michigan, but i want to go back to school. i'm working and making progress in my goal of becoming a bartender which would help financially since there is plenty of money in the field out here. my mom has said shes not going to help me with school out here so that is yet another obstacle. i'm not giving up on modeling but my main priority now is getting financially stable. sometimes i feel like i am so far behind but then people remark on how young i am and how i have plenty of time to work things out. i feel like i wasted 4 years of my life at a school that did little for me and now I have to make up for it. i'm perfectly willing to start all over again as a freshmen if it means i will get that much more of an education.

diet buster

it all starts at Mary's Dairy located on w4th street in greenwich village.

every now and then i have to pop in and have my way with my greatest weakness. create your own deserts.

i start off with a Brownie so rich it sticks to its paper doily. roughly 4 inches in diameter.
second is a chocolate chip cookie placed on top. this cookie is slightly bigger than the brownie creating a mushroom of sugary delight. its soft baked so multiply the butter by 3.
then mushroom is then heated.
i usualy go for vanilla and fudge on top but the belgian chocolate with pistachio chunks was to hard to pass.
the parlor was more than generous with his scoop of icecream - the biggest single scoop i have everreceived at Mary's. This thing had to be the size of a baseball. which is then placed atop the molten heep of glucose.
5 minutes later after eating this thing i usually buy a liter of water and down it right there.

and repeat a month later. next time i will get pictures!

awakening

find_your_way_home.dishwalla.american_pie_soundtrack

it would appear to be a cheesally timed coincidence - it being january 1st and all - but i have been thinking for some time now about how my love of art is returning, although i am just now declaring it to the masses. The masses being all those who actually read this thing.

I am nearly complete with my comic which I started some 18 months ago or so. Right now progress is delayed because Tony is home for the holiday's and Pratt security has been pretty strict since the school is technically closed. This is problematic because I have recently been sneaking in and hanging out on in the empty classrooms which have ample space for spreading out and getting work done. This is necessary because there is no room in my apartment for an art table - which is why a role out light boxed drafting board is apart of the loft design. The loft project is roughly 40% complete since we are almost done building Tony's bed. note: i proposed we build his bed first so we could correct any errors by the time we got to me.....

I want to fininsh my comic so I can get my grades back up to ease the transfer process to an art school here in new york.
A few post back I mentioned how I was bouncing back and forth between a few - although I intend to apply to them all, my heart is set on SVA. Phil Jimenez is one of my favorite artist and once I read he was an instructor there that sealed the deal.

Maybe its just the wake of a sentimental shockwave, but it seems more and more people from my past are coming out of no where. Facebook as reunited me with people going back to pre-school and people i havent talked to all year are randoming ringing me.

last night at work Eamon told me i really need to work on "letting things go...."

I don't believe in making resolutions at the new year just for the sake of doing it, but rather you should make resolutions whenever you feel something needs to change and work just as diligently to uphold them.

my last resolution was to get back into art and finish my comic.

i'm going to work on letting things go.