08 August 2007

move-in day

here i am entering my third month here at my apartment. things are going well (things could always be worse). since i last posted I have pretty much recovered from my financial hole i jumped into by dropping everything in michgan and moving here. i paid off my credit card which i maxed on plane tickets and initial costs (and have not used it since); i'm roughly one payment away from reimbursing my mom for her assistance when i thought i was going to move back to michigan. i was coasting with a nice nest egg in the bank - then JUNE hit. I had to cough up over 5K to move into my new place, rent a truck+gas, and taking a day off work.

Tony and I moved in over the course of 22 hours: that only includes literally grabbing everything from our old place and throwing it into the current apartment. move-in day was a day of hell.

we started off getting to truck rental around 9:30a when our reservation was for an hour prior. After waiting in line for 45 minutes we finally make it to the counter and go through the registration process. Tony did most of the talking since i was severely hung over from the night before. SO hung over i didn't remember not opting for insurance since everything was placed on my card. with a headache pounding like a linebacker the night after winning the state champs, i decided to let Tony do the driving. i wasn't worried about insurance since i had driven rental trucks and 8 wheelers in michigan many times without incident.

i was awakened from my coma by what sounded like grinding metal.

YES, Tony side swiped a utility truck in williamsburg.

"I think it was a stop sign," he says sheepishly as i glared at him like he slapped me with his dirty laundry, responding only "in the middle of the fucking street?"

we were approached by a burly carpenter exclaiming "YOU JUST TOOK OUT THE SIDE OF OUR TRUCK."
Panic sets in. I'm flooded with bank account numbers, phone calls, reversal of financial stability and I start thinking faster!
we parked the car and walked back a block to the car we clipped. I saw no broken glass, no indentations, and besides the cracked passenger rearview on OUR truck, we had no damage either. Turns out we only knocked their side mirror off its base and it cracked when it hit the ground no less. My heart rate returned to normal and my anxiety was replaced with irritation. It was noon and our sublet was driving in from DC, as we spoke.
Long story short the quasi-english speaking polish guy who apparently was responsible for the truck was sue Tony and I were planning to sue him.

FROM IRRITATION TO ANNOYED AD NAUSEUM.

I had to stop talking and let Tony handle it because i was hung over, sleepy, and hungry and in no mood to waste time. after the police came we filed a report and went on our way.
no we had to replace the cracked mirror somehow - we devised a plan. Earlier that morning, back at the rental place we had to switch trucks three times ultimately returning to the initial truck because the first had no sideview, the second was fully loaded, and the third had no a/c and not enough gas. so we decided to have them pop a sideview on the first so we didnt have to have the paper changed again. the trick was they replaced the driver's side. so we had to get the tools we needed, switch the mirrors and then drive back "because the mirror fell off while we were driving." the maintainance guy was not pleased. but we had it fixed, i grabbed some food and smartwater and we were on our way to start moving. the time was then 4:45p.

the following day, after relentlessly teasing Tony for his "mishap," i managed to clip the tail end of a car inappropriately parked too close to the corner as i was already making a wide turn into oncoming traffic in a busy two way avenue while rushing the truck back to the rental place after receiving harassing calls and getting into a swearing match with the bitch receptionist who threatened me because i was 30 mins late returning the truck when it took them an hour and 45 mins to get the truck to us after we signed for it (technically, should still have had an hour and 15 mins to return the truck). The owner of the car was much more aggreable then the williamsburg schmuck and i paid him $300 in damages and went on my way. I still frequent his diner and make sure i tip min. %40 out of guilt.

lesson to be learned: get insurance, because driving in ny is not like driving in michigan.

i capped off the move-in stint with 16hrs behind the bar, followed by another 12 hour stint the day after that, then a normal 8 hr shift the third day after. on tuesday, i slept.

11 May 2007

one year later

yesterday was the one year aniversary of me arriving in new york. today marks my first day in new york.

looking back i have had one of the most challenging and rewarding years of my life. i made a decision and with it i stuck.
the transition hasn't been easy but it has at least made me a much stronger individual. when i first got here i felt so lost and didn't know what to do. now things are coming second nature. i've had my bumps, lost a friend here and there, my social security and visa card are misplaced but i am sure they will come up.

it was a milestone to be signing the lease of my next place on the year mark. in a couple weeks Tony and I will be moving into the Opera House Lofts which is located in buschwick - now being marketed as "east williamsburg" to encourage gentrification.
This was the same loft space i wanted to move into last year but my roommate at the time was not interested - so we passed. Tony and I jumped at this opportunity.

atop the adding room and 25ft ceilings we will have free internet, controlled gas bills, a gym, yoga room, game room, laundry, party space, roof deck, back deck, gated entry courtyard, nightly doorman, and music practice rooms to name a few.

our loft has a mezzanine which i will occupy and ample room for additions and furniture. it's a huge step up from sharing the 14x16 studio we have now.


i'll post pictures later.

11 March 2007

nothing to write home about

"i was having a slow night until one of my tables decided to tip me $500....on top of gratuity"
-Lauren, coctail waitress at work.

"You're one beautiful man...You're the Lenny Kravitz of this bar...I'm not gay but I would fuck you"
-unnamed hotel guest, as he closed his tab at my bar.

"We're kinda spoiled here. I mean, I get pissed when I only make $500 on a weeknight."
-Adrian, bartender

03 March 2007

off traque, on track

the other day i sent mary and lynn - bookers at Traque, a brief email explaining i was no longer interested in their representation while i remained outside the michigan market.

i had a rough shift at Gramercy Park Hotel since i had my firat "morning barback shift" a week ago. The morning barback is responsible for setting up both the Rose and Jade bar. Dave P., the morning barback during the week, helped me a bunch by emailing me an extensive breakdown of his routine. It turns out I was very lucky in some respect becuase Dave started roughly a week after I did. Meaning I got in just in time to not be the morning barback during the week and only had morning shifts until just recently. GpH is hardcore corporate in contrast to The Half King. I don't foresee a promotion to bartender at GpH the way I accomplished it at THK. I'm still making great money either way and with the cafe opening soon at THK I will have more shifts there.

I don't know if my lack of interest in partying has anything to do with how hard I socialized back at UofM, but I just don't have the drive. I have never been one to pounce on the opportunity to spend money at drinks at the bar - even in Ann Arbor when you could have at least 3 drinks with a $20 bill. I'm bored typing this - moving on.

I have been drawing alot lately and revisiting reference books that have been collecting dust. My art is no doubt rusty but like riding a bike and working out you never forget and it takes no time to return to your previous peak. Yesterday, I was informed I got my first paid commercial commission. I will doing an illustration for a nationally distributed magazine via B. Dalton, Barnes & Noble, and Borders. Plus, I just have a few more hours of inking to do on Rork. Some titles have been popping in and out of my head but I still haven't made a decision yet. I'm posting more and more to my deviart page.

Some great news is that Blake called to say he's considering moving out to NY with his girlfriend come the end of summer. This excites me becuase just not to long ago I was thinking how productive we would be if he lived here and we could collaborate face to face.

It's beyond nice to be able to take days off. I am forcing myself to type without looking at the keyboard. I am becoming more proficient but adjusting to my hands being stationary is taking time. Comperatively, my typing isn't as fast and I make a ton more errors but it's a usefull skill.

I'm rambling because I am sleepy. I need to type more because there is a ton more I wanted to say, but with the combonation of my exhaustion from work, my frustration from mistakenly selecting and typing in random locations throughout the paragraph due to my trackpad being touch sensitive, and the stiffness of my drafting chair is forcing me to retire early.

13 February 2007

alone with my thoughts

i had a conversation with a former model yesterday at work.

he confirmed many of my reservations about modeling (the drugs, the sex, the roles, the opportunities and what people do to make it) and particularly the place of black models within the industry.

basically, there is no place for blacks in the industry.

look at the ads you see in magazines? pick one arbitrarily and count the black models.

better yet, go to models.com and count the number of black (male or female) models in the top 50.

models.com isn't the definitive pulse of the modeling industry - but it's interesting to note that it is reportedly owned by two black men and a black women.

i lost 5 pounds in 6 days to get in shape for fashion week - the agent i spoke with told me to call afterwards.

i'm tired of warping my life to fit others needs: just being around the industry and fashion week after parties and seeing what people do behind the scenes was enough.

i'm not placing blame: i chose to play the game. I am happy to be back in good shape because i wasn't happen with how i was looking - but i would have never worked out that much in my life to tone up that quickly in any other condition. which brought me to the realization that i was loosing myself again. i left michigan to find myself and to find out what i was really capable of on my own. Now that i see how i was flirting with the same oppression that drove me away: i am saying "enough."

i am not saying i hate the industry or that i don't ever want to model again - but i am saying i am playing by my own rules from here on out. if an agent or client were to request anything i am even partially hesitant to accomodate - then that is a deal breaker.

i am no where near where i want to be as an artist and it's time i stop dreaming and talking about changing that and DOING IT.

Priorities: my life, my art, my family and friends, and whatever comes of modeling.

it may seem a little drastic since this is coming from one person's opinion and lack of witnessing his experiences - but i will not ignore how they make sense and agree with my experiences so far.

30 January 2007

training day (under development)

dreams.fleetwood_mac.rumours

i'll fill this out later.

last night was my 'training" night at my new job The Gramercy Park Hotel.

i am barbacking on track to me a bartender. pay? 4.30 an hour. the thing is, with bottle service and $500 shots of Louis XIII and regulars like Diddy, Russel Simmons, Damon Dash, Sienna Miller, Jimmy Fallon, Guy Pierce and the ilk, I can make more in tips outs in one night than an entire week at the half king.

i'm not leaving the half king, i love it there, but as Eddie (the head of security said when i told him my earnings at the half king and how i started as a busser making sometimes $70 on a good 12hr shift (bussers at GPH aver $300-$400 a night), "do what's best for you!"

"DO what's best for you"

if i only had time to make a list of all the people who have said that EXACT statement to me in the last 12 months.


Jimmy Fallon personally pulled me aside when i left from behind the bar and shuck my hand so say i was working my ass off - i had just scrambled him chilled soco shots because we ran out of jager in betweenn sprints to the dishwasher in the kitchen through the crowd since the washer behind the bar is on the fritz.

how did i get the gig? the modeling agent who has made me her "pet project" (the same agency that got me a free gym membership because i had no money) asked me how my money situation is and i told her i was barely making ends meet - we'll see what comes of this.

24 January 2007

nothing to do but work on my art

those are the deals i remember

those are the days i live for.


sometimes i just want to sit and doodle and sketch and color and read and write and nothing else.

i got the final piece needed for the construction of my drafting table today. man it has been so involved building this loft. i still need to order the leds which will set me back a good buck-thirty (=$130 mom) and then the plexiglass and mylar to complete that phase of the light box. i also need a drafting chair, the cheapest i have found was on DickBlick.com which would suit my needs.

i'm taking donations, comment and i'll get in touch with you.

fer serius!

18 January 2007

keep the light on for me.

one helluva week.

tony's loft is finished, mine almost.

i posted new drawings with more to come.

i had good news ontop of good news in the last couple days and crossing an old bridge has taken me to a level i have been striving for. more on that in about a week.

i'll be spending much of the time til then in the gym - where i haven't been in 7 months.

11 January 2007

california dreaming...once more. with feeling.


no_quick_fix.nada_surf.let_go


my college roommate and buddy Rob (wes) can tell you my dreams of moving to california to pursue comic illustration.

the fox television series the oc was my way of living there vicariously.

now more and more i want to get back into art, my one true passion. I have been saying i was goig to apply to art schools here in new york......im making an addendum: california.

09 January 2007

i'm in love




you can just hear blackberry and motorola: "fuck, fuck, fuck....."
and cingular continuously cumming in their pants.

i'm calling it now

iphone video ichat by the second gen, third tops.

05 January 2007

delusion|determination

over.jimmy_eat_world.stay_on_my_side_tonight

they come and go, but i would be a liar if i pretended i never had my doubts about modeling. when i was younger, and chubby, i used to dread shirts versus skins games in sports. i was the kid who wore a tshirt in the pool. so when i lost weight and had a body i never thought possible - i kinda flaunted it. not in a "i'm better than you" kinda way, but yet, a "i did this and I thought I never could."

after loosing weight i entered a casting call for seventeen magazine just because a few people i knew were doing it, too. So, Jenna Felzcak, William Watkins, someone who I am forgetting, and myself all went to the casting. Will and I were selected, making us 2 of the 30 or so guys selected out of the 500 that dropped by. seventeen also took 30 girls.

during make-up for the shoot i talked with the stylist and she suggested i drop my photos off at some agencies. it being michigan i didnt think there was much of a market let alone did i have the slightest on where to begin.

long story short i sent some photos to a small agency in ferndale. there, i had some photos done and began building a portfolio. to date, most of my experience and work has come from my own motivation and searching with my agency providing very little work and guidance. they did however connect we with agencies in new york that had expressed interests.

i dont know if it was because the trip was shortly after finals, or the pressure of going to new york for the first time ever, or even spending that much time with my agent, but i had the most horrific acne breakout. of the agents i met, a few saw past the hideous condition and said they wanted to hear back from me.

being tired of michigan and not happy with my choice in school, i packed my bags and left for new york - knowing i had a lot of work cut out for me.

now, some 6 months later, after finding out more and more about the industry and learning that i had to start over from scratch professionally - no one in new york had respect for non-ny photogs unless they were mega-successful - in which case they would still be working in new york from time to time.

i have undoubtedbly made advances and met some influencial people both in modeling and other entertainment industries, the question still rings in my head: "how much is too much, and how much is not enough?"

people have said it wont happen over night, and i believe them. it takes being here and meeting people and so on and on. so is it a test? very few models are the ones you read about where they were walking their dog and all of a sudden they are on the cover of mags. most started out doing what i am doing - working odd jobs and chasing a dream.

and for clarity modeling has never been MY DREAM, but a side project. My dream is and always will be drawing and art and comic books. modeling is a goal that came along and i am not one to half-ass a challenge. but being in the city has helped me remember my love for the arts.

i don't want to go back to michigan, but i want to go back to school. i'm working and making progress in my goal of becoming a bartender which would help financially since there is plenty of money in the field out here. my mom has said shes not going to help me with school out here so that is yet another obstacle. i'm not giving up on modeling but my main priority now is getting financially stable. sometimes i feel like i am so far behind but then people remark on how young i am and how i have plenty of time to work things out. i feel like i wasted 4 years of my life at a school that did little for me and now I have to make up for it. i'm perfectly willing to start all over again as a freshmen if it means i will get that much more of an education.

03 January 2007

diet buster




















it all starts at Mary's Dairy located on w4th street in greenwich village.

every now and then i have to pop in and have my way with my greatest weakness. create your own deserts.

i start off with a Brownie so rich it sticks to its paper doily. roughly 4 inches in diameter.
second is a chocolate chip cookie placed on top. this cookie is slightly bigger than the brownie creating a mushroom of sugary delight. its soft baked so multiply the butter by 3.
then mushroom is then heated.
i usualy go for vanilla and fudge on top but the belgian chocolate with pistachio chunks was to hard to pass.
the parlor was more than generous with his scoop of icecream - the biggest single scoop i have everreceived at Mary's. This thing had to be the size of a baseball. which is then placed atop the molten heep of glucose.
5 minutes later after eating this thing i usually buy a liter of water and down it right there.

and repeat a month later. next time i will get pictures!

01 January 2007

awakening

find_your_way_home.dishwalla.american_pie_soundtrack

it would appear to be a cheesally timed coincidence - it being january 1st and all - but i have been thinking for some time now about how my love of art is returning, although i am just now declaring it to the masses. The masses being all those who actually read this thing.

I am nearly complete with my comic which I started some 18 months ago or so. Right now progress is delayed because Tony is home for the holiday's and Pratt security has been pretty strict since the school is technically closed. This is problematic because I have recently been sneaking in and hanging out on in the empty classrooms which have ample space for spreading out and getting work done. This is necessary because there is no room in my apartment for an art table - which is why a role out light boxed drafting board is apart of the loft design. The loft project is roughly 40% complete since we are almost done building Tony's bed. note: i proposed we build his bed first so we could correct any errors by the time we got to me.....

I want to fininsh my comic so I can get my grades back up to ease the transfer process to an art school here in new york.
A few post back I mentioned how I was bouncing back and forth between a few - although I intend to apply to them all, my heart is set on SVA. Phil Jimenez is one of my favorite artist and once I read he was an instructor there that sealed the deal.

Maybe its just the wake of a sentimental shockwave, but it seems more and more people from my past are coming out of no where. Facebook as reunited me with people going back to pre-school and people i havent talked to all year are randoming ringing me.

last night at work Eamon told me i really need to work on "letting things go...."

I don't believe in making resolutions at the new year just for the sake of doing it, but rather you should make resolutions whenever you feel something needs to change and work just as diligently to uphold them.

my last resolution was to get back into art and finish my comic.

i'm going to work on letting things go.