For as long as I can remember I have wanted to get out of michigan. I can go much further into the psychology over time, but in as condensed a version as possible, I wanted out. First it was art, which started when I was around six. I couldn't get away at that point, so I started to imagine myself in different places. I would get lost in these worlds I would create with cut outs from magazines and comics, playing forever with my "paper toys." I even would construct them in school, sometimes "acquiring" constuction paper and those brass fasteners things from elementary school. I eventually got tired of just the paper toys and would draw characters. Intrigued by the X-Men and their admirable fight to protect a world that fears and hates them. Being a minority, you could see how I related to this theme.
"just finish"
"it's a UofM degree"
"it's in-state tuition"
"finish here and go to another school afterward"
that's what I kept hearing.
what the fuck? - is what i am thinking. what about me? Let's be honest, in the art industry people couldn't give a rat's ass what your alma mater is if you don't have the skills. Coming into a portfolio review for marvel or dc - "oh, you graduated from the UofM! we'll bypass your lack of perspective and limited color usage" is not going to be the culminating remark. "you're art sucks but you went to a great school. Here, draw my backgrounds!" - nope.
Who was I doing it for? Why didn't I transfer freshmen year like I wanted to? Why? Why was I not drawing everyday like I used to before college? Why was I so fucking unhappy? Why did I not have the drive to go to class?
UofM's art school does not offer perspective, color theory, or anatomy classes - all essential to a career in illustration. Even if I wanted to return, the classes are all full and there is no work for me. I would still have t find a place to live and a way to afford to live there. Transportation? Here in NY, $76 isn't cheap, but it grants 31 days of full access to all bus and train lines runing in the city. I don't have to worry about gas, car insurance, a CAR, etc. I just have to keep up with my flemsy card. With that being fact, returning to Michigan would definitely put modeling on hold - i had already had to pass up castings and auditions because of lack of transportation, and I could only barrow friends cars for so long. Here, I just need to make sure I get to the auditions on time. I could walk to them if I had to.
It wasn't what I wanted. I feel like I have lived my entire life trying to appease other people. Thinking how my actions effected others. IMAGE. I do admit, however, leaving as abruptly as I did was not the wisest decision. I take full responsibility for not exploring all my resources. Had I done so, I would have known I could take courses at another acredited institution and have them transfer back to UofM. I thought I had to transfer completely to another school if I wanted to enroll into courses. That changed everything.
Now, I am trying to register for online courses at WCC so that I may remain eligible. I would continue debating taking courses here in NY and applying them to my UofM degree or just transfer completely to SVA, Pratt, The New School, or FIT. I'm leaning more towards the latter.
Starting a life in a new location isn't easy. Especially when you are accostumed to a way of living. I have been called many things, "spoiled", most often. People seem to not realize that unless you are apart of a dynasty, pitted to inherit a fortune - children don't have anything - it's all under their parents' name. I don't inherit a company. I will have to work to get back to the life I want. The world doesn't owe me anything - but I sure would like to collect on pain and suffering.
abstract
"All I want is the best for you" seems more like "All I want is what I feel is what's best for you."
why not, "All I want is to support what you think is what's best for you" or " I think this is what's best for your, but I trust that you know what's best for yourself"
Does anyone ever really know what's best for another person? Does anyone ever really know anything for certain?
There are seldom winners in the hyperbole game!
google:"I don't want your life" poem - and study the frequency and context in which it appears in comtemporary situations
| Your Birth Month is May |
 Unique and creative, you seek your own path in life. You love change and are able to adapt to any situation. Your soul reflects: Sweetness, joy, and a complete life. Your gemstone: Emerald Your flower: Lily of the Valley Your colors: Yellow, red, and green |
Taurus You are very stubborn, and your withdrawn nature makes you irresistible to hotties. You like sex to be romantic and passionate, and you know just how to make it that way. Your partners cannot resist your spontaneous and gentle nature. Sex matches: Cancer, Virgo, Capricorn Take this quiz at QuizUniverse.com |
You are charming.  You are very bright, and able to completely express yourself verbally. You have a lot of charisma and people are naturally attracted to you. 'What is your seduction style?' at QuizUniverse.com |
| Your Aura is Violet |
 Idealistic and thoughtful, you have the mind and ideas to change the world. And you have the charisma of a great leader, even if you don't always use it! The purpose of your life: saying truths that other people dare not say Famous purples include: Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Jr., Susan B. Anthony Careers for you to try: Political Activist, Inventor, Life Coach |
Your Seduction Style: The Coquette |
 You are a pro at playing the age old game of hard to get. Your flirting style runs hot and cold, giving just enough to keep them chasing you. Independent and self-sufficient, you don't need any one person to make you complete. And that independence is exactly what makes people pursue you. |
which xmen character are you
StormYou are strong and determined, people look to you for leadership, yet you struggle with your fears
Take this quiz!
No comments:
Post a Comment